Private Journal, Audio Disk 22, Silver Security Encryption version 4B.

Dear Deacon,

I'm still alive. In spite of everything that has happened, everything that went on I'm still alive and kicking.

I still miss you. I still think about you, so much. But I've been able to survive without you, and you are never coming back.

I still love you. And a little part of me hates you. I hate that you left me, that you died and I have never been able, not with all of my contacts and abilities; I have never been able to find your killer or killers.

But someday. Someday.

I haven't found anyone to replace you. Not that I've been actively looking, mind you. But no, there hasn't been anyone else since that morning I whispered goodbye before you got on the plane. And I'm not sure there ever will be anyone. But... I think... I might be ready to try again, to live again. I have no clue if I will be able to love again, but I'm still alive so who knows? Oh fuckit. Who am I kidding?

Gods Deacon, I miss you so much.

And I don't need an encrypted code to say it.