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I will take care of this, I will control this! The world has caught on fire, and I'm in the heart of the flames. Every time Deacon looks at me, I expect to see his eyes start to glow red as La Magra takes over and forces the man I love out of his own body. So tired, I need to sleep, and yet it's the one thing that I can't afford to do. Not now. Oh hell no.
And he's so busy now, and I, I miss him. So much. All I want to do is to run away with him, just the two of us. But he'll never leave, and me? I will never leave him again. Not while there is a chance... no, must think positively. I cannot afford to think like a loser, I have not and I will not lose. NEVER Again.
But he's not here, it's just Adrien and I; sometimes other vamp guards as well. To protect us, he told me. No, we both know better. It's to protect me. His frail, weak, human lover. I see how they all look at me.I think I've even seen Adrien looking at me that way a few times. I will not mess this up, I will not fail at... whatever the hell I'm doing. Keeping Deacon in control, even with all of this chaos is so much better than risking setting La Magra loose. Let Los Angeles burn to the ground, take all of them, all of us with it. La Magra is, he is. Death. That's what La Magra is. Death for all of us. No where will be safe, no city, no country - none of it.
I will find my way around this. So hard to think now, I just. Argh! I cannot sleep while Deacon is near. I must, I MUST be that lifeline that holds him to this world. And I... I'm finding it harder and harder to sleep with him gone. I
There is a slight hesitation before she speaks again.
I keep thinking that someone is watching me in my sleep; I keep waking up with my heart pounding. Frightened. Alone. Someone is watching me, staring at me. And my dreams are filled with pain, fire and death and... and a dark lust, a... a hunger that I know is not my own.
God help me if my nightmare, that beast from my dreams that is searching finally finds me. Finally - gets - me.
I don't think that even Adrien or Deacon can save me then.
And he's so busy now, and I, I miss him. So much. All I want to do is to run away with him, just the two of us. But he'll never leave, and me? I will never leave him again. Not while there is a chance... no, must think positively. I cannot afford to think like a loser, I have not and I will not lose. NEVER Again.
But he's not here, it's just Adrien and I; sometimes other vamp guards as well. To protect us, he told me. No, we both know better. It's to protect me. His frail, weak, human lover. I see how they all look at me.
I will find my way around this. So hard to think now, I just. Argh! I cannot sleep while Deacon is near. I must, I MUST be that lifeline that holds him to this world. And I... I'm finding it harder and harder to sleep with him gone. I
There is a slight hesitation before she speaks again.
I keep thinking that someone is watching me in my sleep; I keep waking up with my heart pounding. Frightened. Alone. Someone is watching me, staring at me. And my dreams are filled with pain, fire and death and... and a dark lust, a... a hunger that I know is not my own.
God help me if my nightmare, that beast from my dreams that is searching finally finds me. Finally - gets - me.
I don't think that even Adrien or Deacon can save me then.
