sinful_minx: (curled in)
Dear Deacon,

I'm still alive. In spite of everything that has happened, everything that went on I'm still alive and kicking.

I still miss you. I still think about you, so much. But I've been able to survive without you, and you are never coming back.

I still love you. And a little part of me hates you. I hate that you left me, that you died and I have never been able, not with all of my contacts and abilities; I have never been able to find your killer or killers.

But someday. Someday.

I haven't found anyone to replace you. Not that I've been actively looking, mind you. But no, there hasn't been anyone else since that morning I whispered goodbye before you got on the plane. And I'm not sure there ever will be anyone. But... I think... I might be ready to try again, to live again. I have no clue if I will be able to love again, but I'm still alive so who knows? Oh fuckit. Who am I kidding?

Gods Deacon, I miss you so much.

And I don't need an encrypted code to say it.
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Pepper

September 2014

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